New Year's Eve

No snow challenges today. Went to Montague's Tea and Coffee House for a Balmoral Tea with Cheryl. Brilliant, wonderful food and even better company. Montague's does a fabulous job of an English high tea which include sandwiches (no crusts) scones, home-made lemon curd and clotted cream, scrumptious. Lovely way to end the old year.

As a lot of you know I am looking to purchase a small house along the same lines as the Katrina house. I love the design of that little house and now the children have moved out its the perfect size for me. So I took a look at a small (over 55) mobile home park to see if there was anything I was interested in and there looks to be some things that might be acceptable. At first glance the park was very clean, yards well kept and good cars in driveways so will keep you posted when I can get inside to look at some of the ones for sale.

One Hell of a Morning

Sooo finally the snow has stopped at least temporarily but there is talk that it will start again tonight, so I decided that I would make a trip out to feed the million dollar fishes and the not so expensive fishes. No problem, I thought, the road had been ploughed (one side anyway) and there was no one else around - it was about 9:30 a.m. Heated up the car and off I went. No problems getting to the Cross loft where I feed the fishes and left. On to office to feed the not so expensive fish - road still very clear - no traffic - rather snowpacked but drivable when I come to the entrance of the parking lot to the office. I look at it think I can make it then in a split second knew I could not and came to a dead halt half in and half out of the entrance - I had highcentered myself. Hard to do when you consider I drive a Ford Escape. With an awful sick feeling in my stomach I gunned the car both forward and back and yes you guessed it dug it in even deeper. Now when stuff like this happens to me all my fears come over me in a wave so all by myself in the parking lot with no-one around I went into this little stamping foot rage about how I hated this place, hated my car, hated the fish, hated the snow all of which I described using the f**k word in great abundance. I tried to call Carrie and ask if Keven could come get me and left her a sobbing message basically describing all of the above - could not get her so went into work, found a snow shovel and started shoveling all the while muttering under my breath about how God hates me. An old gentleman probably in his 70s walking through the parking lot came up to me to tell me I was stuck.... luckily I had put the snow shovel down - I agreed with him and he left. I dug out some snow, put mats under the tires and tried and tried again to get out. Nothing happened except a smell of burning. By this time my hysteria had practically taken over and I was now ranting at God about how He had abandoned me and He hated me and was never there for me. I was quite hot at this time as well, probably the shouting when out of the blue a truck drew up next to me and two gentlemen got out of the car one man about my age and the other his aged Pa I think, this guy was 75 if he was a day, came up, looked at what I had done told me to get in the car and they would push me out, the previous old gentleman popped up again from I know not where and all three of them had a go. It took a couple of pushes and I was out. Neither of the old gentlemen died - a thing I was rather concerned about - I thanked them profusely, listened to a lecture on why I should have sand in my car and everyone left including me. Called Carrie to let her know I was out and Kevin did not need to show up, many thanks anyway.

So I learned a couple of things today. God does listen to my prayers. My friends are there for me - Kevin had got permission to leave work even though he would have had to take an hour sick leave to come get me and he was prepared to do so and when my instinct is telling me something listen to it i.e. not trying to drive through too much snow I should listen. I am now home, back killing me, eating pizza, feeling that life is not really that bad.

Hope everyone had a great day, God bless and Happy New Year if I dont talk to you before then.

Holidays

Well have not written anything for some weeks and we are fast approaching the Holidays as they are called in this country and it does not feel good. Every year at this time the Holiday "blahs" seem to afflict me. As I see the ever increasing advertisements for the family time - the husband, wife, children it serves to make me deeply angry on one hand (I dont have that kind of life) and a deep sadness. Almost without me being aware the comparisons raise their ugly heads and I end up looking at what I think my life "should" be like - feeling very outside the norm and a sense of deep dissatisfaction. Added to which the temperature is nearly 30 degrees hotter than it is supposed to be, very anger inducing. Body feel deeply unsettled with this abnormal weather. Even yelled at the poor dog for wanting to hang out with me, how nuts is that!!!

Game Night

Well started off the day deciding that most of the leaves off the trees so would rake them up and make the yard look presentable for Fall. After 2 1/2 hours and 5 x 30 gallon bags later managed to clean up close to the house, front door and little patio - still about 4 bags worth left but it at least made a dent. Put away all the Halloween stuff and took a trip to Gordmans and then Michaels where they had wonderful sales of Thanksgiving stuff and it is all about the stuff right!! Brought it back assembled it around the house and then fell asleep. Turned out that my hands were so sore I could barely use them in the afternoon, I think I have a touch of arthritis - oh dear such is life. Fell asleep in the reclinder for an hour or so with Alex laid across my lap sleeping, felt very cosy and comfortable. Woke up too late to cook anything for game night so stopped in Safeway picked up cheese and crackers to contribute to food. Had a lot of fun playing Beyond Balderdash - did not come in last which is usually the case and fell asleep on the sofa so they all made fun of me, how unkind is that. One of our game night friends has cancer and it sounds pretty serious, nothing like listening to something like that to remind me of how blessed and lucky I am in my life even though I have a tendency so see the glass half empty instead of the other way around.

Friday At Last

Been a very hectic week at work. Carrie my buddy and co-worker was on vacation this week and its like all the clients know when there is only one person in the office. We had three hearings to prepare for, make exhibit books, etc. My feel were killing me after I stood at the copy machine for nearly two hours. Sheesh.... Had a bit of a mixup with Dell. They had to change out my DVD drive and sent the tech to the delivery address (my work) instead of where the computer's home is. The tech had the option to carry on to the next job due to the mixup but took pity on me as I had taken time off work to come and fix it. The hard drive is still buzzing though, should it be doing that.... I will have Em check it when he gets back into town.

I have just been reading Fi and Em's blogs. Some of the pictures are amazing especially ones of the sea. Looks very cold and grey at the moment though, but its been a long time since I saw the sea.

Ian sent me pics of my father's new kitchen that Ian has installed and though it pains me to say so, he is doing a fabulous job, there is a reason for him after all....

Well the pooch is fast asleep in my chair next to me and I am feeling restless - probably all the Halloween candy I have been eating, bought 4 bags of it and nonone came to trick or treat, well its go to go somewhere, right!

The weather is back to being warm again and I hate it. This time of the year in Colorado you never know what to wear. Could be shorts and tshirts or heavy winter stuff all in one day, makes me very irritable. Hard to believe I know......

I dont know how to download pics to my blog I will have Em show me when he gets back from Portland.

It was a dark and stormy day

Had worst snowstorm in at least 3 years. Really heavy snow which bent over trees and in many cases snapped branches in two. Tom, my boss, decided to not have us come in partly because it would have been pretty rough getting everyone home. The house across the street lost most of a tree at least 4 big branches came down and fell into the road, the City came sawed up the logs threw them into their yard and took off, apparently they just clear them off the street its up to you to dispose of the wood. I take my hat off to the utility workers though. I was without power for at least 2 hours, boy did that feel creepy - my house is all electric with no fireplace so could not even make myself a hot drink so Alex and I fell asleep on my recliner and he kept me warm. All together now - aaaah. Snow is melting already so should be a lovely commute tomorrow. I am going to try to attach some pictures I took to my blog, I hope.

Hectic Day

Boss is back in town so everyone hit the ground running. Good to be busy though. Fiona got the apartment in Vancouver so she and Em will be moving in next week on her birthday - how cool is that. Been too tired to take Alex for a walk tonight and the evenings are drawing in really quickly so I am not really comfortable going walking in the dark. He doesnt care everyone he meets is a friend....

Am reading a book by Barbara Sher called Wishcraft. Written for people mostly women who want to have a life after 40 or in my case 50. For the last couple of years I have been trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. What is my passion. Am working my way through the book rather more slowly than I thought I would. Spent a lot of time weeping not so much for lost opportunities which are many but how I was taught to think about myself as a person and woman and only now am I coming to realise that was other people's ideas and beliefs that were imprinted on me not my own and how I can still have a rich full life and discover my "passion" whatever that may be.

Alex is curled up on the chair next to me fast asleep. It is quite lovely when I am in the house he is never far away and likes to sleep with some part of himself touching me. Very comforting. Although still cant get him to watch the dvd Dogs for Dummies, will have to do it myself I can see.

"Arty" Weekend

I had the pleasure of having my wonderful son, Emrys, down to stay with me this weekend and it turned out to be quite hectic. Friday night we went to a friend of mine's art opening, she does collages and they were quite, quite beautiful, some amazing ones done with an Asian theme. Then the next night I dragged him along to play Bunco. What a hoot!!! He really enjoyed himself although he got a tad concerned when he accidently took his pen with him to the next table - things got a little nasty (all in good fun of course) and I tied with another lady and won $6. Gambling will be the death of me!!! Oh nearly forgot before we headed out to Bunco Em and I took a trip up to the top of Palmer Park. I have not been there in years. He took a couple of photos which he posted to his blog. I love the one looking through a fence to see the clouds. Anyhoo, back to Sunday. I took him with me to an art showing. Its sort of along the lines of a Tupperware party but with original art. Some of it was very lovely and then again some of it was ick!! I am definitely not a fan of cowboy pictures and/or elk or deer. Doesnt do much for me but thats what makes the world go round, right, everyone has different tastes. I fell in love with a small oil painting in the style of Van Gogh of a pitcher with iris in it. So of course I ordered it. I am going to have a party so possibly I can get a discount on another picture. Even Em was struck by some of the art, especially some of the water colors. No pictures of Elvis or Jesus on black velvet which I personally think is a good thing.

I am always struck when I am around my children about how much I showed them about "life" not necessarily by my words but by my actions and it was definitely not a good thing all the time. I am deeply saddened by some of the things I "taught" them such as doing anything to maintain a relationship even it is is dreadful, abusive and just plain wrong - anything is better than staying alone. How not to manage money! How to live in fear of what might happen and paralizing oneself with thoughts of awful things that might happen most of which never did materialize but the amount of time I wasted worrying..... enough said. However, I am so proud of Fi and Em and even though I was not always the best role model around how much they took what life dealt them and ran with it. My daughter is amazing in her courage, sense of adventure and just plain "hutspah" - think thats the word- in her quest to discover where she wants to live and what she want to learn. My son is amazing in that he is dealing with a situation in his life which he is not shying away from and is actively seeking help in seeing what his part is and what to learn from it. Both of them are extremely creative with excellent senses of humor. I am blessed on a daily basis to have them be part of my life.

Yeah!!! New Blog

Really Hot Sunday

It is 94 degrees here and it sucks. I do really well in heat not above 80, however a wonderful friend, Jodie, turned up at my house last night with a window air conditioner. Now all I have to do is set it up. Had a surprise visit from a good friend, Meagan, who popped into town unexpectedly, really good to see her. Am off to a barbeque this afternoon which will be extremely hot but with good friends to its not all bad.

More computer stuff

Really fascinated by computer, forgotten how all consuming it can be. Enjoying access to all sorts of stuff though, love it.

American Britain

American Britain

Its Monday and I am talking with an Indian gentleman trying get sound on my computer apparently I need a sound bar which should have been shipped to me but somehow never made it. I tried watching a movie but its not the same. Been on the phone now nearly an hour and I am starving.

New computer

I just purchased a new computer and my son helped me install the stuff, wait what am I talking about he did the installing I watched. Have not had a home computer for nearly 3 years - feel that I am back in the 21st century now although had forgotten how much of my time it can take up - been on-line now for nearly 3 hours. My next purchase will be a phone with a camera so I can post pictures. Boy, this is scarey, as I can barely work my cell phone this should be interesting.

Carrie says--I think it's really interesting that both you & Emrys chose a picture with a road leading off "into the sunset" as your main photo. It's a really great metaphor for where your lives are at right now; you're both moving & traveling & enjoying the great adventure that is the journey. Just an observation. :) Sending you a big hug!

Emrys' graduation pictures