Disappointed

Well heard last night that I did not get approved for the loan for the little home so no moving for right now. I tried to hang on to the fact that as everyone says if it was meant to work out it would, however, in theory that sounds great, in practice it sucks. I did not realise how much I wanted to be out of the area I am in and into the new place. It also did not help that it seems I have to keep revisiting my financial "sins" over the last few years which seem to haunt me forever. Dont ever go bankrupt it does not pay - if you cant handle money then find someone to help you, I think its a bit too late for me. If I knew then what I know now.... Of course, my deposit will take at least a week to get back to me, more irritation but I think I am mostly deeply embarrassed about this situation. I am 55 years old, cant get a loan, am renting, no financial assets anywhere, do not go down this path. I think I actually dreamt about being old and living under a bridge last night.... with spiders no less, not sure what that came from.... other than that its been a wonderful day...

Wednesday

Watched an Agatha Christie movie last night, The Pale Horse, done in 1998, English actors, excellent stuff. They fell asleep on the couch, did not go near the computer - I think I am rather intimidated by it all and concerned there will be another problem. Depending on how I feel tonight I might have a go, although I get so pooped in the evening I tend to get home, have dinner, start to watch a movie and then fall asleep. Yes, I am really feeling my 55 years. Actually, I remember now I read my new Oprah magazine, love her, its packed full smart ideas, excellent motivation stuff. In fact, Cheryl and I and her sister Pam, watched Oprah with Bob Greene and his new eating plan last Sunday. Looks as if I could handle that. Prepare your body for 30 days, then adjust to do the weight loss and then maintenance. I am starting out to do this for 90 days. I have 3 meals, 2 snacks, nothing after 7:30 - that is tough but I am hanging in there. I have not been able to get out to walk because of the snow and lousy street cleaning in my area but I can come up with something in the house, I think.
Still no news on getting financing for they mobile home, trying not to be impatient. I know it will work out the ways its supposed to be.

Irritation Abounds

Still no computer. Had to get driver disc, whatever the heck that is, it arrived I have no clue so have to take at least one hour out of my evening tonight to talk with Dell and have them walk me through it.

Aaah - still no computer

You know I did not realise how much I used my computer until I couldnt and it sucks. But the Dell tech called and I should be able to get everything done on Thursday, schedule permitting.

Still freezing here, real Minnesota weather, glad I moved away. I am reluctant to take down my birthday stuff which is in my cubicle so I am not going to its going to stay another week. Lovely.

Alex got groomed today, bless his heart. Hope the weather gets a little warmer otherwise I might have to go the Meagan route and start putting him in little coats.....we have not been able to get out the last few days and he gets a little loopy.

I'm Back

Okay so I did not know how much I use my computer during the weekend until I could not use it because the hard drive took a nose dive. I rushed through my blog got it done and then the dreaded blue screen appeared and this time would not got away. Anyhoo, did not get out of my pjs until Sunday afternoon, even the dog was keeping downwind of me, but it was so cold did not want to go outside. Cheryl rescued me in the great red truck they have and off we went to Montagues. I made her take me by the park to see the home I am hoping to move into, I had seen so many of them the last week that they had all kind of melded into one. Looks lovely, so now just have to wait for paperwork to be accepted.
I did have one funny thing happen to me this weekend though. My cable has not been working well so when Em turned up on Friday to take me out to dinner for the big 55 he said it sounded like the signal was not getting through. Now I had loudly complained to the cable company (hard to believe I know) and had set up an early morning appointment for Saturday, 7:00 a.m. So after dinner and after Em had left after showing me how to do more cool things with my little iPod I suddenly thought, could I have done something - well, I could and I did. Some weeks ago my $25 DVD player died after 5 years, what is the world coming to, so I disconnected it and threw it away and I think at that time I must have "jiggled" the cable wire because on Friday night when I "jiggled" it again, guess what all the channels came through. How embarrasing! So when the cable guy called Saturday morning to say he was on his way I had to tell him I had fixed it. His pregnant pause said it all..... But the great part is I can watch PBS again, lovely.

Saturday Morning - Computer Woes

Up and moving at 4:00 a.m. - not sure why that should be the start of most of my days but up and at "em I was. Threw the dog out, not literally of course, for its morning constitutional in the subzero temps. Had absolutely no trouble getting him back in this morning....
Watched Alien vs. Predator, love that movie - how biazzare is that - I am how old.... Anyhoo, after that decided to get on computer. Well.... the dreaded blue screen came up again. On hour later after having talked with someone called Jason in Canada as opposed to a gentleman in India called H..... last night finally came up with a prognosis that my hard drive is dying..... so they are sending me a new one but apparently I should be saving all my stuff to CDs - not quite sure how to do that but I am sure one of my wonderful children can help me through that. Jason was very patient with all my questions, my greatest fear of course that I had done something to make the hard drive go bad, its all about me you know, but apparently that would be pretty difficult so after sighing with relief went on to order another hard drive, luckily it is covered by my warranty. Never thought those things actually worked. Quite funny really after it is all over, I made my bed, cleaned up the bathroom and washed the floor all while waiting for the technician to come on the line. He remote accessed the thing - now it does feel as aliens are taking over the world and while he could not fix it at least I know what is wrong. So will try to type really quickly before things stop again which apparently they can.
Well today is definitely a day to stay in one's pjs and read a good book so I think I will do that.

Partial Birthday Day

Well day started well with me being unable to sleep so up at 4:00 a.m. but got on the computer to discover my geeky son had hacked into my blog and put a lovely wallpaper on there with candles and everything - good job he did not put every single candle on cake as we could have all been blinded....
Got to work to find Carrie had decorated my cubicle with birthday stuff including some pictures she downloaded for me of Scot and my parent's wedding day in 1948. Then Tom and Lauren came in and Tom gave me a Happy Birthday banner and they sang me Happy Birthday - Carrie being the only one in tune but who is complaining. Got wonderful goofy cards from Fi and Em, Kevin, Laura and Carrie (we all have really strange senses of humor - I love Hoops and Yoyo - kind of like me after I have eaten the cake). During the middle of the morning the Fedex guy arrived with my present from Carrie and Kevin which is amazing. I have always admired Winston Churchill, always felt he was the man for the time during World War II and he was a marvellous, deeply moving speaker. Well, they got me a CD of him delivering the Finest Hour speech from June 18 1940 along with a book which included a copy of the first and final drafts of the speech with all his notations. Made me go goose pimply... I will listen to it tonight and read the book. Felt like I have my own piece of history.
Then it was time for lunch so Tom took us out to lunch at The Famous, great steak and fish restaurant. Came back and Lauren gave me a beautiful necklace and Tom and Pat gave me spa stuff so I am spoiled rotten and I love it.
Hard to work, cant you tell. :)

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

This is actually her son making this post. I hacked her account...lol. Just wanted to say I love you and Happy Birthday mom. : )

New Home

I love the little house I live in and if I could transport it to another place I would but I cant and I am not pretending anymore that the neighborhood I live in feels safe. It doesnt. I live in the Knob Hill area. It is good to be so close to downtown but something else has to be better. So... I am thinking of becoming a mobile home owner. There is a little well little 35 acre mobile home park on Sinton Road, well back from the highway, been around for about 35 years. It is only open to 55 and older. I have been there 3 times to check out some homes and its very well kept and run, really nice homes. You would have laughed at the second place I visited though. When I told Fi and Em that I was looking they were horrified - shades of My Life with Earl I think they thought. You know, the kind of thing, beat up pickup trucks in the yard, cars without wheels on bricks and the various shooting most evenings. Well the second place I went to see was a beautiful home or should have been but had not been looked after, the lady of the house arrived at the door coughing with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth and vicious terrier barking his head off and a really messy house which she told us she had worked very hard to pick up. Did not stay long in that house - turns out the park has asked her to leave as they have had numerous complaints about her barking dog. The next place we went to was a total contast, just like a normal (?) home. Lovely deck well kept yard, well all the yards are really well kept even the dog lady's place but out of my price range $25,000. I would have to put down $2500 and then get the rest financed which I believe I could do but dont have enough for the downpayment and thats okay. The home that I am thinking of getting would be a perfect size for me. It has a circular kitchen which looks like something out of the Jetsons. I love it. I am already thinking of how to decorate using 60s stuff and lo and behold pickup up a magazine yesterday with just the kind of thing I needed to give me ideas and colors - so am really excited to start. Anyway, maybe its a sign of getting a little older but I am past neighborhoods with screaming kids, loud cars and messy neighbors, enough chaos. Boy, that does sound like I am getting old doesn't it.

My own prejudices were rather disconcerting to get over. At first I was quite reluctant to share with everyone that I was looking at a mobile home park - but the more I have seen of this particular park and the homes the more I can see myself there. One attraction is that I could walk the dog in my own neighborhood. I truly dont like doing that here. How sad is that.

More Musings on Thursday

I have been researching the modular home parks in my area now that I am hurtling towards 55 and have discovered quite by accident that I would not be at all bothered by living on this particluar one. It is for people 55 and older which means that at first couple of glances most of the homes very well kept, beautiful yards and Neighborhood Watch which is a real attraction to me. I think that I have played down my apprehension about living in the neighborhood I do because I was able to make the little house I live in very livable but given where I live the neighborhood is not condusive to walking around at night and now a sexual predator has moved in down the street, granted its (and I use that word deliberately) about 6 blocks away but it was broadcast on the news and in the paper which kind of creeped me out. Anyhoo, I need to explore all my options and given right now I do not have great credit and no savings its definitely an option to explore.

The eating plan is going well, using my common sense, how strange is that!

Thursday Morning

Well 3 days into the food plan and surprising benefits already. Learning to eat slowly and savor every bite has reduced the awful bloated feeling I would get after every meal. Also not eating after 7:30 pm has been the biggest surprise. I did not realise how much I would nibble on food from about an hour after dinner until I went to bed. Consequently had heartburn most nights. Not when I stop eating before 7:30... who would have thunk it.

Having to face some unpleasant issues as regards buying a little property. Looks as if my credit which was always shaky is still not good enough to get what I want and I am really tired of settling for second best. I have a plan in place for improving my credit but it is taking more time than I want it to, wah!!!! Anyhoo, if I cant get what I want at this moment I need to see its a case of "not know" not "not ever" - I have noticed that as I have gotten older that I am more pessimistic which is sad I used to be able to bounce back in no time.

Sammy the dog who was staying with us for a few days has returned to his owner. They were a strange combination to watch Sammy and Alex. Alex is the "Tigger" of dogs and literally bounces his way around while Sammy was much more reserved and kept looking at Alex in complete disdain until the night before he left when he suddenly started chasing around a bone, throwing it up in the air, running around in circles, very strange. Alex looked as if he could not believe his eyes. Very funny to watch.

Roads still irritatingly awful. It is going to take at least another week possibly more to get the snow to melt and at the moment there are deep ruts where snow melts during the day and freezes at night - hate it. Still dont have much to complain about when whole towns on the eastern plains of Colorado are in real trouble and they are having to airlift food to the cattle so that they can stay alive.

New Year's Morning

Fell asleep in the chair with the dogs, Alex and visiting friend, Sammy at about 9:30 p.m. so decided would go to bed. Well, of course, slept for my usual obligatory 4 hours and then woke up again. Now the dogs have taken to following me around so even though they could barely see out of their eyes they dragged themselves up with me to the computer room, settled down again and fell asleep at my feet. I then decided to research through Oprah.com her and Bob Greene's 12-week plan for getting some order into my life as for weight loss and exercise. You know, this woman has so much common sense. I love her. I was able, because now of course I am wide awake, able to review her and Bob's suggestions for a gentlely does it kind of life plan - 1200 calorie a day food plan and 30 minutes exercise a day for 6 days a week. I even signed a contact with myself and pinned it up on the kitchen door to remind myself. I am doing this partly because as I hurtle towards 55 (in 11 days time) I am feeling my most heavy and unfit in the longest time. I had thought I would throw myself into exercise after my reduction surgery, however, that has taken rather a back seat because of the plantar facia in my left foot, but really its because I had still not decided that I wanted to get healthly and fit and that entails losing weight. A lot of my physical ailments are directly related to how much excess weight I carry and thats it. It is what it is and if I want to have more energy there are things I need to do. I can do this for 12 weeks. After that I can look at my progress, then tweak it and set off again. At the present feeling quite calm about it - will update how I feel every evening for the 12 weeks.

Have a marvellous New Year everyone. God bless.